Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I’ll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don’t know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
Fat guy in tight shirt: Okay, I can understand a Vulcan being a Buddhist, but not a Christian.
–Venice Beach, California
Fat tourist lady: So then he yelled “I’m going to poop on your chest, you’ll see!”
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Captain K
Large lady in elevator to another: The kids brought back this DVD, they said it was PG-13… Well they started it up and it was raunchy! It had cheerleaders in it and god knows what else.
–Majestic Beach Towers, Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Heading to Blockbusters to find that DVD!
Fat guy on cell: I’m not interested. Throw my food at the dog.
–Rhyl, Wales
Overheard by: Jake
Little boy, looking at large man: I thought only girls had those.
–Florida
Overheard by: Northern Lad
Fat girl: What did you and Michelle talk about on the phone last night?
Skinny girl: She and Alex are fighting.
Fat girl: You’re lying, they are not! What did she really tell you?
Skinny girl: Well, she thinks Victoria’s replacing her.
Fat girl: Ugh, she could’ve just talked to me about it… Victoria did kinda replace her, though.
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: Crab
Hot girl to extremely fat guy transfixed by her boobs: What, are you comparing size? Shape? Cause mine might not be as big as yours, but they’re far perkier.
–Uvongo Beach, South Africa
Overheard by: dizziebean
Big Brooklyn dude #1: I really wanna see The Devil Wears Prada. I heard it’s the funniest movie ever.
Big Brooklyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I really wanna read the book first.
Big Brooklyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It’s not just for chicks, man!
Big Brooklyn dude #2: It’s not just for chicks.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah-jay-jay than the Saharia desert!
–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Erin
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
