Fat half-naked lady, walking up to a random lady and her kid: I'm about to burst!
–Cocoa Beach, Florida
Overheard by: would not like to be there when it happens
Archive for the ‘Fat people’ Category
Who Wants to Tap My, Um, Keg?
Heavy sweaty chick, yelling across store at friends: My sweat smells like beer!
–Surf Shop, Laguna Beach, California
If You'll Refer to This Venn Diagram…
Fat guy in tight shirt: Okay, I can understand a Vulcan being a Buddhist, but not a Christian.
–Venice Beach, California
Plus, That Species Of Dragon Has a Much Shorter Wingspan
College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Help Me Shake It Loose before the US Invades
Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah-jay-jay than the Saharia desert!
–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Erin
When You Call Your Boyfriend That, We Feel You're Just Bragging
Large gay man on bike, calling back to others: Come on, guys! We're going to miss the Origami!
–Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mj
The Readers of Knocked-Up Snatch Say Otherwise
Beach-goer: Belly rings and stretch marks really don’t go together.
–Redondo Beach, California
Overheard by: Everybody’s Ex-Wife
What's That Girl's Secret?
Fat girl: What did you and Michelle talk about on the phone last night?
Skinny girl: She and Alex are fighting.
Fat girl: You're lying, they are not! What did she really tell you?
Skinny girl: Well, she thinks Victoria's replacing her.
Fat girl: Ugh, she could've just talked to me about it… Victoria did kinda replace her, though.
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: Crab
Some Episodes Of To Catch a Predator Are Just Pathetic
Overweight woman chasing squirrley eight-year-old on the beach: Get over…boy! You get…boy! Boy! You lucky I can't run fast in this sand!
–Beach Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Go Kid Go!
Like Cock
Big Brooklyn dude #1: I really wanna see The Devil Wears Prada. I heard it’s the funniest movie ever.
Big Brooklyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I really wanna read the book first.
Big Brooklyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It’s not just for chicks, man!
Big Brooklyn dude #2: It’s not just for chicks.
–Rockaway Beach, New York