Overweight woman chasing squirrley eight-year-old on the beach: Get over…boy! You get…boy! Boy! You lucky I can't run fast in this sand!
–Beach Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Go Kid Go!
Archive for the ‘Fat people’ Category
Like Cock
Big Brooklyn dude #1: I really wanna see The Devil Wears Prada. I heard it’s the funniest movie ever.
Big Brooklyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I really wanna read the book first.
Big Brooklyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It’s not just for chicks, man!
Big Brooklyn dude #2: It’s not just for chicks.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Geologic Time Has Nothing on Family Time
Chubby guy to sister: Sand is rocks that disintegrated over time because of volcanoes.
–The Dunes, Michigan
Have You Tried Sleeping With Guys Who Like You?
Ugly overweight girl in unflattering bikini: Guys don't like you anymore after you've had sex with them.
–Belmar Beach, New Jersey
They're the Katie Couric Of Mammaries!
Hot girl to extremely fat guy transfixed by her boobs: What, are you comparing size? Shape? Cause mine might not be as big as yours, but they're far perkier.
–Uvongo Beach, South Africa
Overheard by: dizziebean
Right Where You Belong: My Heart
Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!
Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.
Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??
–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair
What Happened to Gray, Windowless Vans?
Really loud fat lady: Fat old guys drive nice cars to get with the young pretty girls.
–Public parking lot, Seaside, Oregon
Overheard by: Drewlicious
I Just Realized How Much I Miss The Golden Girls
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
You Can Call It "Baby Weight" Until the Baby Leaves for College
Flabby mom in bikini, having picture taken with three kids: Honey, come stand in front of mommy's tummy.
–Penfield Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut
…And I'd Like to Do It with Dignity.
Fat blubbery man to wife: C'mon already! Let's go in the water–I gotta take a piss!
–Caribbean
Overheard by: Grossed Out