College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah-jay-jay than the Saharia desert!
–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Erin
Large gay man on bike, calling back to others: Come on, guys! We're going to miss the Origami!
–Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mj
Beach-goer: Belly rings and stretch marks really don’t go together.
–Redondo Beach, California
Overheard by: Everybody’s Ex-Wife
Fat girl: What did you and Michelle talk about on the phone last night?
Skinny girl: She and Alex are fighting.
Fat girl: You're lying, they are not! What did she really tell you?
Skinny girl: Well, she thinks Victoria's replacing her.
Fat girl: Ugh, she could've just talked to me about it… Victoria did kinda replace her, though.
–Lavalette, New Jersey
Overheard by: Crab
Overweight woman chasing squirrley eight-year-old on the beach: Get over…boy! You get…boy! Boy! You lucky I can't run fast in this sand!
–Beach Boardwalk, Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Go Kid Go!
Big Brooklyn dude #1: I really wanna see The Devil Wears Prada. I heard it’s the funniest movie ever.
Big Brooklyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I really wanna read the book first.
Big Brooklyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It’s not just for chicks, man!
Big Brooklyn dude #2: It’s not just for chicks.
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Chubby guy to sister: Sand is rocks that disintegrated over time because of volcanoes.
–The Dunes, Michigan
Ugly overweight girl in unflattering bikini: Guys don't like you anymore after you've had sex with them.
–Belmar Beach, New Jersey
Hot girl to extremely fat guy transfixed by her boobs: What, are you comparing size? Shape? Cause mine might not be as big as yours, but they're far perkier.
–Uvongo Beach, South Africa
Overheard by: dizziebean