Archive for the ‘Fat people’ Category

What’s That Girl’s Se­cret?

Fat girl: What did you and Michelle talk about on the phone last night?
Skin­ny girl: She and Alex are fight­ing.
Fat girl: You’re ly­ing, they are not! What did she re­al­ly tell you?
Skin­ny girl: Well, she thinks Vic­to­ri­a’s re­plac­ing her.
Fat girl: Ugh, she could’ve just talked to me about it… Vic­to­ria did kin­da re­place her, though.

–Lavalette, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Crab

Like Cock

Big Brook­lyn dude #1: I re­al­ly wan­na see The Dev­il Wears Pra­da. I heard it’s the fun­ni­est movie ever.
Big Brook­lyn dude #2: Yeah, man, but I re­al­ly wan­na read the book first.
Big Brook­lyn dude #1: Yeah, yeah! It’s not just for chicks, man!
Big Brook­lyn dude #2: It’s not just for chicks.

–Rock­away Beach, New York

Randy Found Her Un­re­spon­sive, Cow­like De­meanor Strange­ly Arous­ing

Fat dude on awk­ward first date: Yeah, so that’s why I did­n’t put ‘Let’s meet at Star­bucks’ in my ad. ‘Let’s have a beer on the beach,’ you know?
Obese chick: Mmm-hm­mm.
Fat dude: So… You don’t drink?
Obese chick: Hm-mmm.
Fat dude: So, it’s fair to say you have a prob­lem with al­co­hol.
Obese chick: I don’t have a prob­lem with it.
Fat dude, af­ter long pause: So, what do you do? I mean, what oth­er hob­bies do you have?
Obese chick: I chew a lot of gum.

–Gold­en Gar­dens Park, Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Brooke