Young boy: Your uncle peed on Mikey last night!
–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California
Young boy: Your uncle peed on Mikey last night!
–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California
Mother, loudly: Oh my God, get over here! Turn around!
Teen daughter: What! What’s on me?!
Mother: A stretch mark! That’s what! Right there on your hip! You have got to lay off the chips! We are on vacation here. You shouldn’t be stress-eating!
Teen daughter: Mom! Shut up! People can hear you.
Mother: No, no one is listening, and besides, they can all see it, too.
Kayaking instructor: Does everyone have their life vests on? Good now I’d like you all to pair up, and for this first run we are going to pair up with someone you don’t know.
Daughter: Thank God!
Mother: What?
–Bayville, New Jersey
Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing
Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it’s really getting annoying, I’m like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Elise
Little boy: I don’t want to put on sunscreen!
Older sister: Do you want to look like a Nang?
Little boy: What?
Older sister: Well, that’s the thing about Nangs, they get burnt!
–Byron Bay, Australia
Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole
Canoeing dad, looking back: I think we lost William entirely.
Canoeing guy: Who’s Tyler?
–Blue River, Milltown, Indiana
Brother: I was talking to that couple from Montana, and they said they eat cattails.
Sister: I thought they were vegetarians.
–Puno, Peru
Overheard by: 451
Male: Your kid is eating the sunscreen.
Female: It’s okay, he’s bright on the inside. It’s good for him.
–Pacific Beach, California
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist