Young boy: Your uncle peed on Mikey last night!
–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California
Archive for the ‘Family’ Category
Shelby Went Kayaking With the Prince of Darkness and Had a Comparatively Lovely Time
Mother, loudly: Oh my God, get over here! Turn around!
Teen daughter: What! What’s on me?!
Mother: A stretch mark! That’s what! Right there on your hip! You have got to lay off the chips! We are on vacation here. You shouldn’t be stress-eating!
Teen daughter: Mom! Shut up! People can hear you.
Mother: No, no one is listening, and besides, they can all see it, too.
Kayaking instructor: Does everyone have their life vests on? Good now I’d like you all to pair up, and for this first run we are going to pair up with someone you don’t know.
Daughter: Thank God!
Mother: What?
–Bayville, New Jersey
Let Me Guess– You’re Itching to Talk About It?
Little girl, running happily: Mom, dad!
Little boy: Guess what we caught!
Both, in perfect unison: Crabs!
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: the girl who received dirty looks from the parents for laughing
Mom Rates Them on the Same Scale As Figure-Skating
Lady in vehicle on cell: I mean, she wants to know everything, and it’s really getting annoying, I’m like “mom, Jesus Christ, hey, I took a shit today, you want to know if it floated or if it sank?”
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Elise
I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think It Means
Little boy: I don’t want to put on sunscreen!
Older sister: Do you want to look like a Nang?
Little boy: What?
Older sister: Well, that’s the thing about Nangs, they get burnt!
–Byron Bay, Australia
Bring Me Grandchildren, Then We’ll See
Tween girl to parents: You never listen to me!
Mom: Be quiet, Ashley.
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole
There’s Nothing Like Nature to Bring Families Closer Together
Canoeing dad, looking back: I think we lost William entirely.
Canoeing guy: Who’s Tyler?
–Blue River, Milltown, Indiana
Your Editors Love That Puno Is on the Shore of Lake Titicaca
Brother: I was talking to that couple from Montana, and they said they eat cattails.
Sister: I thought they were vegetarians.
–Puno, Peru
Overheard by: 451
Plus It Helps Wash Down the Sand.
Male: Your kid is eating the sunscreen.
Female: It’s okay, he’s bright on the inside. It’s good for him.
–Pacific Beach, California
Mob Enforcers Start Training Early
Little boy: Mom, who can I bury in the sand?
Mom: Bury yuh fathuh. Start wit’ his mouth.
–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey
