Archive for the ‘Drunks’ Category

And because She's Your Sister

Drunk law student, down on one knee: Will you marry me?
Drunk girl he just met, giggling: Of course!
Drunk law student to friend five minutes later: That’s not binding if it’s just oral, right?

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Britney and K-Fed in Five Years

Drunk mother: So, do… When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight… What the fuck is that kid’s name…?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell…? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You’re holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up later. [Baby in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.

–Beach campground, Mindon, Ontario, Canadia