Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it's a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.
–Starbucks, Santa Barbara
Archive for the ‘Drinking’ Category
Without a Laserlike Focus, the Bud May Elude Me
Stoner #1: Do you want a Bud or…?
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: I also have Sam Adams Summers Ale.
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: And Bass Ale.
Stoner #2: No ales!
–Bonnet Shores, Rhode Island
Overheard by: I like Ales
That Depends on How Much They're Willing to Spend Marketing the DVD
Hungover girl: Ahh, I feel like shit.
Less hungover girl: Yeah, I can’t believe we did that last night.
Hungover girl: What?…What are you talking about?
Less hungover girl: Cassie…the trampoline?
Hungover girl: Oh my God! Who saw that?!
–Ramsey Beach, Minnesota
Everybody Dance Now!
Busty tan blonde in yellow bikini, surrounded by 8 beautiful gay men drinking champagne and smoking pot: I mean, we should really just take a picture of this, and put it on a postcard: “Welcome to Venice Beach, bitches.”
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: TheLurker
I Already Asked
Mom: You’re drunk!
Daughter: Relax, Mom, it’s not like they’re going to let me drive the boat.
–Cruise ship, Bahamas
That's Why Jim Beam Has Been on My Training Table for Years
Spring break girl #1, holding cereal: I think I’ll have this for breakfast.
Spring break girl #2: I’m having alcohol for breakfast.
Spring break girl #1, putting cereal back: Oooh, good idea!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lsquared
Yeah, Along With Some Weird Pink Money with Birds and Queens on it
Police officer: You’re under arrest for underage drinking in public.
American teen: But they’re from Canada, officer!
Police officer: Got any marijuana in your purse?
–Sandestin, Florida
Overheard by: proudcanadian
She Has No Idea How Awkward Her First Sexual Experience Is Going to Be
Teen girl: I can’t believe I’m drunk! I’m drunk! In Italy! I am 17 and drunk. Oh yeah, and I’m with my parents! The first time I’m drunk, in a foreign country, under 21, with you people, and I’m in Italy?
Teen girl’s mother: It is better this way. At least you are with people who care.
–Nova Siri, Italy
Overheard by: only other american in the place
Time to Invest in a Bathtub?
Dude: This beach trip has been so awesome!
Chick: We’ve been here all week, and you haven’t walked down to the beach once.
Dude: Yeah, but it’s great to just sit around, drink, and get high.
Chick: You do that at home.
Dude: But I can see the water from the window. At home all I see is the parking lot.
–Nags Head, North Carolina
Especially for the Part of It That's Passing Through Me
Drunk girl, holding a can of Milwaukee’s Best, sadly: …I feel bad for Milwaukee.
–Santa Barbara, California