Meathead #1: I was so wasted last night.
Meathead #2: Yeah?
Meathead #1: My girlfriend showed me pictures of me making out with a dude.
Meathead #2: Yeah, I think that was me.
–Revere Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tom
Archive for the ‘Drinking’ Category
Laura Bush Can Be Amazingly Forceful at Times
Obnoxiously drunk ho as she leans on bro for support: Don’t even think about thinking!
–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Priorities, Ashley.
Girl #1: Our table looks lonely.
Girl #2: Why cause we have no friends?
Girl #1: No. Cause we have no drinks!
–Cuba
Overheard by: kiki
It’s the Next Best Thing to Me Sleeping with You
Drunk girl to interviewer with guitar: Are you part of one of the bands?
Interviewer: No, I just interviewed Paramore for my job.
Drunk girl: Oh… Well… Do you want a beer bong, anyway?
–Panama City Beach, Florida
The Fire Alarm? Really?
Father at table with whole family, after female scream is heard: Wow, that sounds like my wife’s orgasm. I’m hammered!
–Catalina Island, California
You’re Welcome to Bring Heidi and the Kids
Drunk dude: Seal! Come drink with us!
–Nantucket, Massachusetts
You’re Thinking Of Middle School, Debbie
Spring breaker bimbette #1, about ordering drinks: And get Coco Rico, and Sex on the Beach…
Spring breaker bimbette #2, interrupting: Wait, isn’t there also something called Sex in the Basement?
–Tamarindo, Costa Rica
Overheard by: one of them spoke decent Spanish, at least
Wow, That Takes All the Glamour Out Of My Alcohol Abuse
Boy: You should have come out last night! It was the best pub crawl ever!
Girl: Yeah? Which pub crawl was it?
Boy’s girlfriend, unimpressed: It wasn’t a pub crawl. It was just him… going to a lot of pubs… by himself.
–Gold Coast, Australia
Craig Learns That Some Things Only Sound Like Fun
Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I’m gonna piss all over your pussy.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Ad: “Are You Irish Sprung?”
Drunk Spanish rock dude: This soap, it smells like penis.
–Santander, Spain
Overheard by: Murray
