Heavy sweaty chick, yelling across store at friends: My sweat smells like beer!
–Surf Shop, Laguna Beach, California
Archive for the ‘Drinking’ Category
…Is This Milkshake in My Ears??
Guy to date: Careful, you're about to spill that soda on yourself.
Girl: Yeah. Well hey, what's one more liquid splashed all over my body today?
Guy: Uh… What?
Girl: Oh. Uh… what?
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: tner
But I Have to Stop at 4 PM because Wapner Comes On
Frat boy: So, you guys are going back to the room? I think I’m gonna stay here a little — have another beer, then go take a shower. Beer and a shower. That’s how I roll.
–Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
Overheard by: That’s Not How I Roll
Introducing, the Most Cerebral Blonde at Manasquan
Snack bar worker: Do you ladies need anything for your iced coffees?
Brunette 40-something: I hate to be a pain, but do you have any skimmed milk?
Snack bar worker (returning): I'm sorry ma'm, we ran out of skimmed milk but I did find some fat-free milk!
Brunette 40-something: Oh, thank you so much. (turns to blonde friend) She was so sweet, I didn't have the heart to tell her it's the same shit.
Blonde 40-something friend: It is?
–Manasquan Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Beach Bum
According to Paris Hilton's Guide to Biology
Wife to another: If you get a frappucino, make sure it's a white chocolate frappucino, because the dark part of the chocolate is where all the calories live.
–Starbucks, Santa Barbara
Without a Laserlike Focus, the Bud May Elude Me
Stoner #1: Do you want a Bud or…?
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: I also have Sam Adams Summers Ale.
Stoner #2: Bud.
Stoner #1: And Bass Ale.
Stoner #2: No ales!
–Bonnet Shores, Rhode Island
Overheard by: I like Ales
That Depends on How Much They're Willing to Spend Marketing the DVD
Hungover girl: Ahh, I feel like shit.
Less hungover girl: Yeah, I can’t believe we did that last night.
Hungover girl: What?…What are you talking about?
Less hungover girl: Cassie…the trampoline?
Hungover girl: Oh my God! Who saw that?!
–Ramsey Beach, Minnesota
Everybody Dance Now!
Busty tan blonde in yellow bikini, surrounded by 8 beautiful gay men drinking champagne and smoking pot: I mean, we should really just take a picture of this, and put it on a postcard: “Welcome to Venice Beach, bitches.”
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: TheLurker
I Already Asked
Mom: You’re drunk!
Daughter: Relax, Mom, it’s not like they’re going to let me drive the boat.
–Cruise ship, Bahamas
That's Why Jim Beam Has Been on My Training Table for Years
Spring break girl #1, holding cereal: I think I’ll have this for breakfast.
Spring break girl #2: I’m having alcohol for breakfast.
Spring break girl #1, putting cereal back: Oooh, good idea!
–Panama City Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Lsquared