Girl: We have to start drinking. It’s the only thing that will make us feel normal.
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Amy
Archive for the ‘Drinking’ Category
Oh, Britney Spears, You Wacky Scamp
Underage girl #1: Yeah, but I’m not going to feel okay using my ID if everyone here is from Ohio. They’re going to know it’s fake.
Underage girl #2: Shhh… There’s people in here.
Underage girl #1: I don’t care.
Girl in stall, coming out to wash hands: I know what you guys mean about the Ohio thing. Minivans… I just moved here from New York.
Underage girl #1: Oh?
Girl from stall: I hate it here. I just had a baby. He’s three months old, without a father…
Underage girl #2: Oh my god. I’m so sorry…
Girl from stall: Then my dad left us. He left our family after 25 years. He left us all behind.
Underage girl #1: Oh, uh…
Girl from stall: It’s alright. Have a nice night.
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Awkward…
The Best Sales Pitch We've Heard in a While
Hobo, singing among crowd of people: Jingle bells, jingle bells, help me get drunk!
–Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Just a Midwestern girl who's new in LA
…Chug on That.
Drunk chick on raft: Hey, Mike*, would you love Kelly* more if she did a beer funnel?
Mike*, on another raft: We're married. I don't have to love her at all.
–Rafting Down Delaware River
Overheard by: twoferrets
Death Drives American
Drunk guy to drunk friend, seeing approaching car: Hey! Watch out for death!
–Terrigal, Australia
Or Swedish?
Drunk woman to woman coming out of water with snorkeling mask: Oh, I was thinking about getting one of those! Is it worth the money?
Woman in mask: Absolutely! There's tons of sea urchins, coral, plants, fish…
Drunk woman: Tropical?
–Atlantis Resort Cove Beach, Bahamas
Overheard by: Maggie
Like the E.R.?
Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Or "Horseshoe Crabs Aren't Fuckbuddies"
Girl to friend: Swimming without lifeguards is awesome. There's nobody to say, “hey, no splash fights”, or “you can't have that fifth of vodka in the water!”
–Madison Beach, Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Also Drinking
Let's Start With 150 and See What Happens
Old guy on oxygen: So, how many more beers can I have??
–Sandbridge, Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mike
Is It My Turn to Talk?
Old fisherman: Don't be tanglin' your lines up with mine, son!
Younger fisherman: You want a beer?
Old fisherman: I saw a UFO fly right under that bridge one time.
Younger fisherman: You need a haircut.
–Creaky Dock, Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws