Archive for the ‘Diet and Weight’ Category

From The Big Book of Clum­sy Pick-Up Lines

Girl #1, ap­proach­ing girl #2: Um, you should work on your self-es­teem more.
Girl #2: What? Who are you?
Girl #1: Take your shorts off. You’re gonna get an ug­ly tan line.
Girl #2: I’m okay with that, thank you.
Girl #1: What do you care if you are fat? Love your­self!
Girl #2: Fuck off! Who asked your opin­ion? Who are you?
Girl #1: Hey, can I bum a cig­a­rette?

–Topan­ga State Beach, Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Freaked Out By CA Chicks

“Have You Seen the Tran­ny Man, the Tran­ny Man, the Tran­ny Man?”

20-some­thing girl: Guys, did you see the man in the wom­an’s swim­suit over there?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, yeah, I saw him…
20-some­thing girl: He has man legs…
Teen girl #1: But from a dis­tance he could to­tal­ly pass as a flat chick.
20-some­thing girl: He can re­al­ly pull it off, too. He has the hat and the glass­es and every­thing.
Teen girl #2: Where’s the tran­ny man? I want to see the tran­ny man!

–La Jol­la, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: La Jol­lan

This Just in: Queen of Uni­verse Is­sues Rules for Beach­wear

Preg­gers: They re­al­ly should­n’t let fat peo­ple go here. It’s dis­gust­ing with their stom­achs all pok­ing and out and shit. At least make them wear a shirt!
Oth­er chick: You’re sev­en months preg­nant and wear­ing a biki­ni. Does­n’t that in­clude you, too?
Preg­gers: Shut up, bitch. Of course I don’t count. Guys dig sexy preg­nant women.

–Ocean City, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Glyn­nis O

Fo­cus — We’re Trash­ing Peo­ple Here

Biotech #1: Wow. Did you see his new girl­friend over there?
Biotech #2: Yeah. She’s got cot­tage cheese legs.
Bim­bette: Re­al­ly? Where is she? Is she fat?
Biotech #2: It’s not that she’s fat, it’s just that… well… she’s built like a line­backer.
Bim­bette, look­ing in op­po­site di­rec­tion: Hey, look — vol­ley­ball!

–Ham­burg Beach, Ger­many