Archive for the ‘Diet and Weight’ Category

Two Words: Ironclad Prenup

Ana #1: Oh my god, look at that guy. He’s huge!
Ana #2: Like, really, someone needs to introduce him to Weight Watchers or something!
Girl passerby: Hey, snugglebutt! [Gives large guy hug and kiss.]Ana #1: What the fuck?
Ana #2: Girlfriend? That fat whale?
Girl passerby: Husband. And you two might have men in your lives if you actually had boobs rather than a caved-in skeleton chest. Come on, schnookums, let’s go get some ice cream.

–Westerly, Rhode Island

Overheard by: blanket not far away, lauging my ass off

Your Editors Beg to Differ

Guy #1: What happened to the girl you were seeing in Phoenix?
Guy #2: She broke up with me because I had too much baggage.
Guy #3: Wait! Was that the anorexic/bulimic with depression that was hooked on painkillers and ecstasy?
Guy #2: Yep.
Guy #1: You ever fuck her while she threw up?
Guy #2: You’re a sick fuck. (long pause) Yeah.
Guy #3: There is so much wrong with this conversation.

–Pacific Beach, California

He Wouldn’t Even Eat Me

20-something girl #1: So are you gonna go out with him again?
20-something girl #2: No. He’s a vegetarian.
20-something girl #1: Well, you can change that.
20-something girl #2: No, he does it for like, moral reasons.
20-something girl #1: Oh. Ugh, no. Forget that, then.

–Long Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Tara