Archive for the ‘Dads’ Category

…Have Some Fucking Family Fun!

Attractive dad in front of giant sting ray swim tank: There will always be times in your life where you will have fear, but when you do it anyway, it makes it easier the next time. Okay, buddy?
Skinny eight-year-old with snot dripping down his nose: (nods)
Attractive dad: Okay, let’s go.

–Discovery Cove, Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: I was scared

Dear God, What Have I Done?

Father to daughter, while mother brushes hair: Doesn’t that hurt?
Daughter: Nope, I have a strong scallop.
Father: What does that mean? Your head is not made of vegetables!
Mother: What? Vegetables? That’s “scallions,” you idiot! And your head is not a scallop, it’s a scalp… you’re both idiots! (laughs hysterically)

–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Sugardoll