Archive for the ‘Customers’ Category

Hon­ey, They Know We Have Sex!

B&B own­er to guests: Do you two have chil­dren?
Fe­male guest: Oh no, not yet. That’s why we are here!
B&B own­er (blush­ing) walk­ing away: Oh! Well, I’m glad we could help!
Guest (soft­ly, mor­ti­fied): I meant we have more time with­out kids!

–Bed & Break­fast, Galve­ston Is­land, Texas

In­tro­duc­ing, the Most Cere­bral Blonde at Man­asquan

Snack bar work­er: Do you ladies need any­thing for your iced cof­fees?
Brunette 40-some­thing: I hate to be a pain, but do you have any skimmed milk?
Snack bar work­er (re­turn­ing): I’m sor­ry ma’m, we ran out of skimmed milk but I did find some fat-free milk!
Brunette 40-some­thing: Oh, thank you so much. (turns to blonde friend) She was so sweet, I did­n’t have the heart to tell her it’s the same shit.
Blonde 40-some­thing friend: It is?

–Man­asquan Beach, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Beach Bum

I Am Parko, Almighty Park­ing De­ity. Give Me Your World­ly Goods or Roam the Melt­ing Streets For­ev­er!

Park­ing lot at­ten­dant: Thir­ty dol­lars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dol­lars.
Park­ing lot at­ten­dant: I should be charg­ing you the same amount as it is de­grees out­side. I should be charg­ing you like nine­ty three dol­lars.

–Hamp­ton Beach, New Hamp­shire

Over­heard by: arc, mich