Archive for the ‘Crazies’ Category

She Thinks the War in Iraq Is Just Dar­ling

Woman #1: Oh my good­ness, you should see your daugh­ter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, re­al­ly?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eat­ing cher­ries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her–it’s adorable!

–Old Or­chard Beach, Maine

Over­heard by: shaw­shank

This Is What Hap­pens When We Don’t Bring the Elec­tric Col­lar

Man, run­ning as fast as he can across sand, scream­ing like a ma­ni­ac: Mol­ly! Mol­ly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, run­ning as fast as he can across sand, scream­ing like a ma­ni­ac: Mol­ly! Mol­ly! Molly!(entire beach crowd stares)
Man, find­ing Mol­ly sit­ting qui­et­ly: Oh, there you are.

–Lewes Beach, Delaware

Over­heard by: maybe next time, take Mol­ly with you

Looks Like a Stand-off

Crazy bag la­dy: I’m Ozzy’s mom­my!
Queer: No, you’re not! You’re a fuck­ing gross woman who car­ries around used clothes and a knap­sack full of tis­sues! Plus, Ozzy sucks!
Crazy bag la­dy: Fag!

–St. Pe­ters­burg, Flori­da