Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category

You Can’t Se­ri­ous­ly Ex­pect Frank to Give Up a Pos­si­ble Bite Just to Save Some­one

Red­neck girl: Frank was out fish­ing with the guy who drowned yes­ter­day.
Red­neck boyfriend: Did he try to save him?
Red­neck girl: No, he was fish­ing — I told you. He thought he had one on the line.
Red­neck boyfriend: Did he?
Red­neck girl: No, it was just the wa­ter.
Red­neck boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say it was the guy who drowned.

–Hol­land State Park, Michi­gan

Over­heard by: Town­ie

And Re­sign­ing From Your Fan Club

50-some­thing woman: I want the tiramisu for my birth­day cake!
Hus­band: Well, the restau­rant says they on­ly have in­di­vid­ual por­tions, not a big thing. That would be ex­pen­sive for eleven peo­ple.
50-some­thing woman: Well, I don’t want the key lime pie, that’s fifth on a list of five op­tions.
20-some­thing woman #1: Well, why don’t we get a pie for every­one else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-some­thing woman: I want every­one to eat what I’m eat­ing in com­mem­o­ra­tion of my birth­day!
20-some­thing woman #2: Oh my god. I’m leav­ing.

–Hold­en Beach, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Au­drey