Freezing 20-something to boyfriend: I can’t feel my nipples! I can’t feel my nipples! Oh my god! That water’s so freaking cold! (to friend) Brenda*! I can’t feel my nipples!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: I wish I could
Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category
Immigrants: The New El Nino.
Black tween girl to girlfriend on cell: It’s mad hot out, you deported Dominican.
–Bergen Beach, New York
Overheard by: its not THAT hot out
Just As I’m Dropping Off to Sleep
Girlfriend: Why are you all pissed off?
Boyfriend: Some days you don’t say shit to me, and then when I’m in a bad mood, you go and say some dumb shit out ya face.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Dano
Hey, I’ve Seen You Eat Molten Chocolate Cake
Elderly man, taking picture of his wife on the beach: You look like you’re having an orgasm!
Wife: How would you know?
–Pass-A-Grille Beach, Florida
Overheard by: The girl who almost ended up in the picture.
Like Your Speedo?
Girlfriend in spa, whose bikini top is suddenly filling with air from the spa-jets: Ai! My top is blowing off!
Boyfriend: That’s okay, it’s not as if it was supporting anything.
–Hobart, Australia
Overheard by: JW
And You’re Pretty Smart, Not Like a Blonde
Guy to couple: Hi!
Blonde wife: See, they’re nice here, not like in California.
–Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: cherry picker
Like When Uncle Walter Touches It
Girl to boyfriend: My vagina is all wet, and not in the good way.
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: Thommy
…Due to That Shirt You’re Wearing.
Boy: So are we ready to go?
(no response)
Boy: Hey!
Girl: Sorry, my eyes were closed.
–Oceanside Beach, California
Wait for It…
Woman to husband, watching the sunset: Why doesn’t the sun ever set in front of the clouds?
–Pacific Grove, California
Overheard by: never enough sunscreen
Coulda Hung a Porch Swing Off It
(built dude in super-tight white spandex shorts roller blades past a group of hipsters on bicycles)
Biking ironic hipster to girlfriend: Woah. Did you just see that sweet penis?
–North Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kara Lang
