Girlfriend in spa, whose bikini top is suddenly filling with air from the spa-jets: Ai! My top is blowing off!
Boyfriend: That's okay, it's not as if it was supporting anything.
–Hobart, Australia
Overheard by: JW
Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category
The Pony Part Is Why He's the Professional
Girlfriend: Jon Coulton does a song like that.
Boyfriend: About making monkey-man hybrids?
Girlfriend: Monkey-pony, actually.
Boyfriend: Well, then, he’s my motherfucker.
–St. Augustine, Florida
And Resigning From Your Fan Club
50-something woman: I want the tiramisu for my birthday cake!
Husband: Well, the restaurant says they only have individual portions, not a big thing. That would be expensive for eleven people.
50-something woman: Well, I don't want the key lime pie, that's fifth on a list of five options.
20-something woman #1: Well, why don't we get a pie for everyone else, and a tiramisu for you?
50-something woman: I want everyone to eat what I'm eating in commemoration of my birthday!
20-something woman #2: Oh my god. I'm leaving.
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Audrey
It's Winking at Me
Wifey: I mean, just stop staring at her vagina!
–Cedar Beach, West Islip, Long Island
Overheard by: Indecent Exposure?
'Brokeback Mountain' Filled Him with Doubt
Guy trying to park his car: Honey, am I straight? Am I straight?
Wife: I damned well hope so.
–Grand Beach, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: Shalamar
It's Not Channel Ocho?
Man: Honey, I don’t think this off-board thing is very safe.
Wife: Why not?
Man: There are so many Mexicans here…
Wife: We’re in fuckin’ Mexico!
–Mexican cruise
Overheard by: Lydia
…Unlike Your Soul.
Nagging mother to adult daughter, after sniping at her all afternoon: Your best attribute used to be your personality. But with the life you lead, now it's dead.
Adult daughter's husband, without looking up from newspaper: It's not dead, it's just asleep.
–Maguire's Landing, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: oysterwoman
No, Dumbass, the Animated TV Movie
Girlfriend: It’s so beautiful here in Cape Cod. Wasn’t David Copperfield set in Cape Cod?
Boyfriend: Wait? You mean like the magician?
–Ferry to Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: JFN
Who Says Romance Is Dead?
Fat sweaty drunk boyfriend to fat sweaty drunk girlfriend: Babe… I don't ever want you to have to suck my cock for money again.
–Jersey Shore
Overheard by: Five Minutes Later A Stranger Grabbed My Hair and Smelled It
…Due to That Shirt You're Wearing.
Boy: So are we ready to go?
(no response)
Boy: Hey!
Girl: Sorry, my eyes were closed.
–Oceanside Beach, California