Enraptured girl, watching sunset with boyfriend: I just love it when the sun sinks into the sea like this! But I have a question…
Boy: Huh? What?
Girl, turning serious: Why doesn’t the sea boil?
–Kauai, Hawaii
Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category
Loretta Also Commented on the Number of Jews in Jerusalem
(on board a ferry full of black people)
Elderly southern woman: Seems to me there are a lot of blacks here.
Half deaf elderly husband: What?
Elderly southern woman: Blacks!
–Ferry, Bermuda
Even If It Throws Up?
Drunk girl to drunker boyfriend: It’s better to throw up than give up!
Hobo: Respect the pussy!
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Overheard by: AlwaysGoodAdvice
What’d You Say, Honey? I Was Looking at These Guys in Speedos Over Here.
Tourist wife: Look at their butts. These bikinis are too small…Honey? Did you hear me?
Tourist husband: Huh?
Tourist wife: My point exactly.
–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
‘Brokeback Mountain’ Filled Him with Doubt
Guy trying to park his car: Honey, am I straight? Am I straight?
Wife: I damned well hope so.
–Grand Beach, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: Shalamar
Nude Beach Brain Teaser
Wife: Frank, you heard about the 11 second rule?
Husband, staring at hot nude chick nearby: What?
Wife: The 11 second rule. If the cops catch you staring at breasts for more than 11 seconds, you have to go to jail.
Husband: No way.
Wife: And keep in mind, there are lots of gay men on this beach.
–Race Point Nude Beach, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Winter In Maine Is …Less Than Exciting
Suburban tourist #1: Remember that time when I threw the cat out in the snow and that guy was staring at me?
Suburban tourist #2: And then John got christened by the cat.
Suburban tourist #1: Yeah, I don’t think that cat had peed in six months. It was like a fire hose.
Wife: That John and his temper…
–All Day Breakfast, Kennebunkport, Maine
Overheard by: Amused Locals
I’ve Gone to DefCon 5
Chick: Nothing is getting in my ass!
Dude: Not even a pinky?
Chick: Not even a pinky!
–Huntington Beach, California
Coulda Hung a Porch Swing Off It
(built dude in super-tight white spandex shorts roller blades past a group of hipsters on bicycles)
Biking ironic hipster to girlfriend: Woah. Did you just see that sweet penis?
–North Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Kara Lang
I Hate People Who Have Better Tans Than I Do
Bimbette to boyfriend: So yeah, I like, went to Cabo over spring break, and there were like Mexicans everywhere! Yeah, it was horrible.
–Michigan
