Boyfriend to girlfriend: So, what do you want to do? You wanna go shopping or something?
Extremely feminine, sweet-looking girl: I just wanna go home and watch some fucking Dragonball Z.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category
…And Pass the Vodka
Snorkel guide: The blue belt is for the strong swimmer. The orange belt is for… the weaker swimmer.
Man to wife: You better get the orange belt.
Wife: Hey, shut up!
–Jamaica
Overheard by: Peeto the Cheeto
Wait for It…
Woman to husband, watching the sunset: Why doesn’t the sun ever set in front of the clouds?
–Pacific Grove, California
Overheard by: never enough sunscreen
Like Your Speedo?
Girlfriend in spa, whose bikini top is suddenly filling with air from the spa-jets: Ai! My top is blowing off!
Boyfriend: That’s okay, it’s not as if it was supporting anything.
–Hobart, Australia
Overheard by: JW
Or Whatever That Stuff in the Tortilla Is
Fiftyish guy to wife: Just for that, I’m not gonna eat your pussy tonight.
–El Cid, Cozumel, Mexico
The Pony Part Is Why He’s the Professional
Girlfriend: Jon Coulton does a song like that.
Boyfriend: About making monkey-man hybrids?
Girlfriend: Monkey-pony, actually.
Boyfriend: Well, then, he’s my motherfucker.
–St. Augustine, Florida
But I Feel a Lot Higher Than That
Wifey turning from looking at ocean: This is so nice. What elevation are we at?
Hubby: … Seriously?
Wifey: Yes.
Hubby: Um… Sea level, honey.
Wifey: Oh. Yeah.
–Ka’anapali Beach, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: D‑Rock
Because a Watched Sea Never Boils.
Enraptured girl, watching sunset with boyfriend: I just love it when the sun sinks into the sea like this! But I have a question…
Boy: Huh? What?
Girl, turning serious: Why doesn’t the sea boil?
–Kauai, Hawaii
Loretta Also Commented on the Number of Jews in Jerusalem
(on board a ferry full of black people)
Elderly southern woman: Seems to me there are a lot of blacks here.
Half deaf elderly husband: What?
Elderly southern woman: Blacks!
–Ferry, Bermuda
Even If It Throws Up?
Drunk girl to drunker boyfriend: It’s better to throw up than give up!
Hobo: Respect the pussy!
–Atlantic City, New Jersey
Overheard by: AlwaysGoodAdvice
