Archive for the ‘Couples’ Category

At the “That’s What She Said” Quarterfinals

Mid-twenties gal: (shows bottle of sunscreen) Hey, hon, will you cream me?
Mid-twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid-twenties gal: What? Oh, god. You’re sick.
(guy rubs the sunscreen on her back)
Mid-twenties guy: Can you get the rest yourself?
Mid-twenties gal: Yeah, I’ll just finish myself off.
Mid-twenties guy: (snickers)
Mid-twenties gal: Oh, shut-up!

–St. Paul, Minnesota

Who Says Romance Is Dead?

Fat sweaty drunk boyfriend to fat sweaty drunk girlfriend: Babe… I don’t ever want you to have to suck my cock for money again.

–Jersey Shore

Overheard by: Five Minutes Later A Stranger Grabbed My Hair and Smelled It