Guy #1: Nice tie.
Guy #2: Yeah, I got it from a relative.
Little girl: No, you didn’t, Daddy. You got it from me.
–White Rock Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: Dan-Mission, B.C.
Archive for the ‘Compliments’ Category
What? A Butt’s a Butt, Right?
Dude #1, looking at girl’s butt: I’d say about a six.
Dude #2: Yeah… Out of a hundred!
Dude #1: Okay, fine. What about her… Eight?
Dude #2: Nah.
Dude #1: Well, what do you think?
Dude #2: That man’s about an eight.
Dude #1: Dude…
–Gold Coast, Australia
She Thinks the War in Iraq Is Just Darling
Woman #1: Oh my goodness, you should see your daughter! It looks like she’s been stabbed; it’s the cutest thing.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yes! She’s been eating cherries, and the juice has run all down her front and all over her hands. It looks like she has blood all over her – it’s adorable!
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Overheard by: shawshank
They Go to Nude Country Clubs
Naked guy: Do you know why I love going to nude beaches?
Naked chick: Why?
Naked guy: No Republicans.
–Field 5, Robert Moses Beach, New York
Overheard by: Stila
With Really Nice Tits
Guy #1: Dude, dude! Tits.
Guy #2: Where?
Guy #1 motions to a topless sunbather.
Guy #2: Dude. That’s a guy.
–Miami, Florida
The Interior Class Struggle
Queer #1: That guy in the blue footy shorts is so hot!
Queer #2: Ewww, Matt, he looks lower class.
Queer #1: We suck cock for a living — you really think we’re classy?
Queer #2: Well, I know I am. I dress in nothing but designer.
–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Hot Chick
But Everyone Knows It’s Minerals That Are the Real Challenge
Man: It was really impressive to do that with vegetables.
–Weymouth, Dorset, United Kingdom
Overheard by: Carolyn & Clare
Omagah, Except for Now!
Blond waitress to patron: I’m like one of those, you know. The kind that don’t make mistakes.
–Santa Monica Pier, Santa Monica, California
Okay, Maybe It was Every Day, in Our Great Big Rubber Bed
White chick with dreads: Yeah, I used to pee on my best friend all the time… Well, I guess it was really just one time, but we peed on each other. I was sitting on her lap and I was laughing really hard, and I was like, ‘Oh I have to pee,’ but then I thought it’d be even funnier, so I just let it go. Later she tackled me in the water and peed on me. It was kinda nice — like, really warm.
–Pickerel Lake, Michigan
Overheard by: Maude Lynne
It’s Not the Content But the Style That Suggests This Kid Has a Future in Musical Theater
Small boy, carrying bag: Fudge! The wonderful joy of fudge!
–Bethany Beach, Delaware
