Jersey girl: I never understood the Jersey Shore — the water is dirty and the streets are trashy.
Dude: Just like the girls here, dirty and trashy.
Jersey girl: Yeah, but at least we have good hair.
–Ocean Grove, New Jersey
Archive for the ‘Compliments’ Category
And Had to Give It to a Guy Named Tyrone
Girl #1: I love Italian men. And black men.
Girl #2: Didn’t you date a half black, half Italian man?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: So where’s the ring?
Girl #1: He went back to jail.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Genevieve
So All I Need Is a Tan
Fat girl, to friend: That tan girl looks better in my bikini than I do.
Random guy walking by: Yeah, she does.
–Traverse City, Michigan
Overheard by: Cari
I’ll Need a Ruler, Some Lotion, and a Box of Tissues
Girl: Check out that guy’s package.
Guy: What?
Girl: Look at the guy in the Speedo.
Guy: No.
Girl: Just look. He’s huge.
Guy: Damn. You’re right. I’m embarrassed now. And I feel a little gay. I’m going to the bathroom.
–Tobay Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Rob
Without Having to Open Your Eyes
Drunk dude: I like mescaline for breakfast, because then all day you see all kinds of different shit.
–Pacific Beach, California
A Cool Guy Would Play with His Daughter
Little girl: Daddy! Guess what I am supposed to be!
Dad: You are a crab.
Little girl: Right! Okay, Daddy, now it’s your turn.
Dad sits there, talking to his wife.
Little girl: Daddy! You are supposed to be something!
Dad: I am. I am being a cool guy.
–Horseshoe Bay Ferry Terminal, Vancouver, Canadia
Especially When You’re Screaming, ‘I’m Not Gayyyyyyyy!’
Queer: It turns out sleeping with a deaf guy is awesome!
–Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Chris Newcomer
Yet We Can’t Seem to Keep You Off Our Island
American tourist, to black islander carving a sculpture from a log: You people are so talented!
–Straw Market, Nassau, Bahamas
Overheard by: Dumbfounded Tourist
Nice Goiter
Cute girl walking down the boardwalk: I’ve been stared at seven times already!
Random guy walking past: Eight.
–Seaside Heights, New Jersey
Overheard by: bonzo
One Day You, Too, Can Be a Douchebag!
Out-of-shape 50-something customer: I don’t know, the guys I see riding fixed-gear bikes are in really good shape.
20-something bike salesman: That shouldn’t intimidate you; it should inspire you.
–Sag Harbor, New York
Overheard by: the lerpa
