Tourist guy: Can I get a banana daiquiri with dark rum?
Dominican Bartender: Sí.
Tourist guy receives a banana daiquiri in one glass and another full of dark rum.
–Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
Overheard by: Devon
Archive for the ‘Central America’ Category
She's Already Fast-Forwarded the Kid Through Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and God
Young Boy: Mommy Mommy, they have Nemo in that fish tank!
Mom: Honey, Nemo’s dead.
–Antigua, the Caribbean
Overheard by: Ollie
Yet We Can't Seem to Keep You Off Our Island
American tourist, to black islander carving a sculpture from a log: You people are so talented!
–Straw Market, Nassau, Bahamas
Overheard by: Dumbfounded Tourist
No, Just My Mom
Dude: Hey, where do you girls go for fun? [They ignore him.] You’re just gonna ignore me? Not a ‘Fuck you’? Nothing? Bitch!
Chick: You kiss your dick with that mouth?
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
But You Had to Get All Pissy about that Whole Rape Thing
Girl #1: Hey, see those guys we went out on the date with that time?
Girl #2: Where?
Girl #1: Up there with the big-ass cooler and grill. I told you we shoulda gone out on another date with them. We coulda been up there drinkin’ beer and eating hot dog right now.
–Cabbage Beach, Paradise Island, Bahamas
Overheard by: d
All Up in Your Hoo-Hoo Zone
Seven-year old boy: Those boys over there are looking at you.
Bronzed teen sister in bikini: Oh really? [Looks pleased.]Seven-year old boy: Yeah. I guess it’s cause you have that weird sunburn.
–Liberia, Costa Rica
No, I Gave Him Something to Keep His Victims' Ashes in for Christmas
Guy holding up little wooden container: We could get this for Bill.
Girl: Oh! For his pot!
Guy, looking over girl’s shoulder at elderly woman behind her: … Or stuff.
–Labadee, Haiti
No, It's Actually for Vacationers Who Need a Change of Pace
Teen tourist: Oh my God, there’s a high school over there! Wait, does that mean people actually live here? I thought it was just a tourist place. Weird.
–Aruba
I've Been Eating Kraft Macaroni for Years
Kid #1: They put pears in my room. Did they put pears in your room?
Kid #2: Yeah, but they were horrible. They tasted like chocolate.
Kid #3: Do you mean they tasted like chalk?
Kid #2: Yeah.
Kid #1: Wait, how do you know what chalk tastes like?
–British Virgin Islands
Overheard by: A chocolate pear would be nice
Marijuana: The Universal Language
Guatemalan teen, passing American teen on the beach: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Huh? What?
Guatemalan teen: Quieres fumar?
American teen: Bro, I don’t know what you’re saying. I don’t speak Mexican or whatever that is.
Guatemalan teen: Want smoke weed?
American teen: Oh. Hell yeah, why didn’t you say that the first time?
–Monte Rico, Guatemala
Overheard by: MangoJoe