Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah-jay-jay than the Saharia desert! –Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica Overheard by: Erin
Mom (exasperatedly): Come on children, you guys going to give me heart failure!
Six-year-old: You going to give yourself heart failure, cause you wouldn't leave us alone. –Bridgetown, Barbados
Girl #1: Our table looks lonely.
Girl #2: Why cause we have no friends?
Girl #1: No. Cause we have no drinks! –Cuba Overheard by: kiki
Magician to seven-year-old boy: Get your hands out of your pockets! God sees everything! –Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea
Mom: You’re drunk!
Daughter: Relax, Mom, it’s not like they’re going to let me drive the boat. –Cruise ship, Bahamas
Boy: Mom! I want a wooden penis!
Mom: You have one already.
Boy: Then I want a metal penis!
Dad: Actually, that might come in handy. –Dolphin Cove, Jamaica Overheard by: bea arthur
Man, carrying two hands full of knives: Knives for sale! Knives for sale! 100 dollars! Getting tired of your brother, your cousin, your mother-in-law? Knives for sale! You feeling suicidal? Knives! Knives for sale! 100 dollars! –Montego Bay, Jamaica Overheard by: Elle
Bikini blonde #1: I'm not dumb, I'm on vacation.
Bikini blonde #2: The ocean makes me wet. –Varadero, Cuba Overheard by: beach ginger
Fat blubbery man to wife: C'mon already! Let's go in the water–I gotta take a piss! –Caribbean Overheard by: Grossed Out
Magician to middle-aged woman: Put your pointer fingers out, and point them about five inches apart. (woman does, but it looks more like three inches) I don't know what guy told you that was 5 inches… –Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea