Boy: Mom! I want a wooden penis!
Mom: You have one already.
Boy: Then I want a metal penis!
Dad: Actually, that might come in handy.
–Dolphin Cove, Jamaica
Overheard by: bea arthur
Archive for the ‘Caribbean’ Category
I’m Your Wife, Bob.
Magician to middle-aged woman: Put your pointer fingers out, and point them about five inches apart. (woman does, but it looks more like three inches) I don’t know what guy told you that was 5 inches…
–Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea
I Already Asked
Mom: You’re drunk!
Daughter: Relax, Mom, it’s not like they’re going to let me drive the boat.
–Cruise ship, Bahamas
Oh, Like You’ve Never Been Caught Playing with Your Wand?
Magician to seven-year-old boy: Get your hands out of your pockets! God sees everything!
–Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea
Priorities, Ashley.
Girl #1: Our table looks lonely.
Girl #2: Why cause we have no friends?
Girl #1: No. Cause we have no drinks!
–Cuba
Overheard by: kiki
English Majors on Vacation
Sunbathing coed: Action, action, I need action! A‑C…
Helpful friend: S‑H-O‑N.
Together: Action!
–Carnival Imagination cruise ship
They Slice, They Dice, They Make Julienne Cousin!
Man, carrying two hands full of knives: Knives for sale! Knives for sale! 100 dollars! Getting tired of your brother, your cousin, your mother-in-law? Knives for sale! You feeling suicidal? Knives! Knives for sale! 100 dollars!
–Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Elle
For the Last Time, Amber, This Breast Came from a Surgeon.
Drunk girl to another: Where did you get this thing? The ridiculous… Things… Store?
–Carnival Cruise, Carribbean
But I Can Get by in English, As Long As They Speak Slowly
Canadian girl to Americans: Oh my god! You guys speak Canadian? We’ve been looking for other people who speak Canadian!
American guy: Yup, only Canadian. No American or English. Only Canadian.
Canadian girl: Awesome! Me, too!
–Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
Help Me Shake It Loose before the US Invades
Fat lady screaming: Taneesha! Homegirl, get yo’ ass in here and see this! There be more sand up in my vah-jay-jay than the Saharia desert!
–Dressing room, Montego Bay, Jamaica
Overheard by: Erin
