Archive for the ‘Canadia’ Category

After His Sex Change, Homer Simpson Moved to Vancouver

40-something woman: You’re from Turkey? What language do they speak there?
Turkish guy: Uh… Turkish.
40-something woman: There’s a language called Turkish? Really? Do a lot of people speak it?
Turkish guy: Well, yeah, more than a thousand years ago in central Asia…
40-something woman, interrupting: Chinese people speak Turkish? I didn’t know that!

–Vancouver, Canadia

’80s: Seriously, Though

Chubby twink: The ’80s called, they want their lipstick back.
Chick in black with bright red lipstick: Your boyfriend called, he thinks you’re fat. 

Chubby twink runs off crying, chick in black lights a smoke.

–Witty’s Lagoon, British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: sleepless

But Only at First

Short girl: I would make a really awkward stripper.
Taller girl: Ummm… What?
Short girl: No, seriously! Like, think about it — if I was up there stripping, I would be like half the size of all the other girls… My head would be in the same spot as their, you know… And that’s awkward.

–Bayfront, Hamilton, Ontario, Canadia