Young boy, sitting in water and throwing wet sand around: I'm going to bury the beach in sand!
–Patricia Beach, Manitoba, Canadia
Overheard by: think I can say
Archive for the ‘Canadia’ Category
…Word to Your Mother
Father to young son: Some holes have crabs!
–Alma, New Bruswick, Canadia
No More Family Reunions for You, Missy
20-something girl #1: So everyone thinks that Nate gave Aric that hickey last night when they were joking around in the kitchen, and Brandon is kinda mad now, he already told Nate not to give other boys hickeys anymore.
20-something girl #2: Oh, poor Brandon, why does Nate do that?
20-something girl #1: Oh, that so wasn't what I was talking about, Nate didn't even do it!
20-something girl #2: What? How else would Aric have gotten it then? After the kitchen thing we all went to bed, didn't we?
20-something girl #1: Yes…
20-something girl #2: Wait, where did Aric sleep last night?
20-something girl #1: Um.
20-something girl #2: It was you! You hickeyed Aric! What are you, twelve?
–Sauble Beach, Ontario, Canada
A Cool Guy Would Play with His Daughter
Little girl: Daddy! Guess what I am supposed to be!
Dad: You are a crab.
Little girl: Right! Okay, Daddy, now it’s your turn.
Dad sits there, talking to his wife.
Little girl: Daddy! You are supposed to be something!
Dad: I am. I am being a cool guy.
–Horseshoe Bay Ferry Terminal, Vancouver, Canadia
Wait, I Just Saw You Buy a Lemonade With a 10… Bend Over
Clothed guy: Hey, got any change?
Nude guy, waving his hands in the air: I got no pockets!
–Wreck Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Gotta Freak Out the Norms Whenever Possible
Group of valley girls, giggling: So you’re bisexual, right?
Girl with piercings and multi-colored hair: Ummm… Yeah…?
Group of valley girls: So, what does that mean?!
Girl with piercings and multi-colored hair: Holy shit… Okay, you know what? Go ask your preacher.
–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: shutterbug
But If I Find Out You Were Just Doing Math Homework, I'll Be Pissed
Girl on cell: Hey! I was wondering when you’re picking me up… Oh… Okay… Well, yeah, I’m not as exciting as getting fucked. I’d ditch me too. Okay, call me tomorrow!
–Queen’s Quay, Toronto, Canadia
Overheard by: Laura
Can't Figure 'em Out?
Bimbette: My nipples are hard.
–Wasaga Beach, Ontario, Canadia
Why Flare Guns Are So Popular in Canadia
Man #1, hanging up cell: By the volleyball net? You can't find anyone at this beach by telling them “I'm by the volleyball net.” That's like going downtown and telling someone “I'm by the pizza place.”
Man #2: Or, “I'm by the hobo.”
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: Emimac
So Be Careful Opening Me–I May Spray
Jogging man to jogging woman: I still have a jiggling six-pack.
–English Bay, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: if it's jiggling, it ain't no six-pack