Archive for the ‘California’ Category

But They’re Priced Up for the Tourist Trade

Tourist lady looking at photo of sea otter: Oh, you have salt water beavers here?!
Local guy: Yes, we do.
Tourist lady: Do they have a name?
Local guy: Yes, we call them ‘snatches.‘
Tourist lady: Did you hear that, honey? They have snatches here!

–Schooner’s Wharf, Cayucos, California

Overheard by: Local girl

It’s a Cry for Attention

Goth girl #1: So, the stupid cam won’t fucking stop following me.
Goth girl #2: [Hiccuping.]Goth girl #1: And I can’t adjust it or anything.
Goth girl #2: [Hiccuping.]Goth girl #1: So it’s really fucking–
Goth girl #2: –[Hiccuping.]Goth girl #1: Would you fucking stop it?!

–Venice Beach, California

It’s Good That You Both Are Planning Ahead For Your Futures as Vagrants

Meathead: God, there are an awful lot of bums here.
Ditzy girl: I know. But think about it, being a bum in San Diego is totally smart. It’s never cold, and they can just sleep on the beach, and the church around the corner from my house feeds them for free every day. They’ve got it made!
Meathead: Totally. Being a bum here must rock. If I ever need to, I’m gonna be a bum here.
Ditzy girl: I know. I don’t know why people would be bums anywhere else. I mean, how stupid. If you’re gonna be homeless, do it in San Diego. Duh.

–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California

Overheard by: American Goods