Archive for the ‘Body parts’ Category

My Therapist Told Me I Need to Set Boundaries

Woman, noticing fly on her arm: No, you cannot land on me!

–Huntington Beach, California

You Need a Boyfriend, Lucille

Girl #1: You know what would feel really good?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: If you jizzed on my back.

–Oceanside Beach, California

I Think They Still Get Points for a Liver-Stab, Jimmy

Dude #1: Wouldn’t it be cool if you could just get surgery to switch your heart and, say, your liver?
Dude #2: What?
Dude #1: Then, if someone came up to you and said, “I’m gonna stab you in the heart!” you could be like, “I’d like to see you try!”

–Dewey Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Suprchick

The Line Between Deep Tan and Deep Damage Is Hard to See

20-something girl: Oh my god! I have wrinkles in my cleavage!

–Adelaide, Australia

Overheard by: Oh No

You Should Start a Support Group.

Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!

–Naples, Florida