Loud high school girl: I was walking down the beach and I saw this girl with the fattest vagina! It was like balls!
–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts
Archive for the ‘Body parts’ Category
Worst. Facial. Ever.
Young boy: Don't fire the rocket launcher until I can go and get it! I'm already down to my third layer of skin, cuz the rest of it burned off!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Narwhal
Both!
Little boy to friend: Ryan, do you want this hermit crab to pinch your nipples now or later?
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: MsKrabs
Your Editors Refuse to Go to Taco Bell Ever Again
Fat tourist lady: So then he yelled “I'm going to poop on your chest, you'll see!”
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Captain K
Tonight, on House…
Little girl, screaming to mother on an excruciatingly hot day: Mommy, my eyes are sweating!
–Coney Island Beach, New York
It Has Its Hands Full Warming the Globe
Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.
–Fort Macon, North Carolina
Overheard by: El Gee
Being a Theater Kid Is a Disability
Girl under umbrella: She said her two life goals are to grow a third arm and trip a cripple.
Mom (to friend): She’s a theater kid.
Friend: But still, I don’t see any reason to hurt a disabled person.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mary
How the High-Five Originally Developed
Girl on cell: Sometimes I just wanna beat you. Like, with my hand… Not my fist.
–Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: SB
I'm Looking to Upgrade
Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn't shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers.
–Lake Miramar, California
Overheard by: El Meech
But If you're offering, I'll be glad to take advantage of it
Girl #1 (as girl #2 drops towel around her waist): Showin' off the goods?
Girl #2: I don't need your sass mouth.
–Manhattan Beach, California
