Drunk girl to another: Where did you get this thing? The ridiculous… Things… Store?
–Carnival Cruise, Carribbean
Archive for the ‘Body parts’ Category
You Need a Boyfriend, Lucille
Girl #1: You know what would feel really good?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: If you jizzed on my back.
–Oceanside Beach, California
After All that Training with the Ping-Pong Balls, It's Just a Reflex
Chick: You didn’t bring the towels?!
Dude: Sorry, I forgot! Just lay in the sand!
Chick: I can’t! You know it always gets up inside of me!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
My First Day As a Nursing Home Aide
Girl #1: Yeah, and then I threw a book and it hit her in the throat. I was like, “hi-ya!”
Girl #2: Oh, why didn't you text me afterwards?
Girl #1: I was busy because then I threw one at her stomach. “Hi-ya!” Times four!
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Just Wait 'til Prom, Buddy
Teen boy, looking at boogie board: Oh, man… My nipples are gonna get it.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Kate H
And Break the Kosher Laws!
Little girl: If a pig spits in your eye, you'll get the flu.
–Takapuna Beach, Auckland, New Zealand
Hey, Wasn't That Your Foot?
Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn’t let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.
–Bolinas, California
Overheard by: didn’t think it was hilarious then or now
But If You Keep Drinking, They Refuse to Open at All
Betty Ford dropout: I hate it when you close your eyes and you feel the alcohol, but when you open them you don't.
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Danny
I Just Realized How Much I Miss The Golden Girls
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
Venus De Milo Accepted Her Predicament With Customary Good Humor
Chick #1: Why does that hurt your arms but nowhere else?
Chick #2: I dunno. It just does. I have weak arms.
Chick #1: I think you have leukemia…Don’t laugh! Leukemia is a horrible disease!
–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire