Archive for the ‘BJs’ Category

I Was Won­der­ing If I Might Bor­row One of Your Mouths?

Mid­dle-aged man: Hi, girls. I was won­der­ing if I could bor­row one of your mag­a­zines. My wife is re­al­ly bored and for­got her book. I’ll give you a drink in re­turn.
Group of 20-ish girls: No prob­lem. Here’s a Peo­ple mag.
Mid­dle-aged man: Thanks. See ya.
Mid­dle-aged woman walks over laugh­ing and whis­pers: Girls, my hus­band is so shy — I can’t be­lieve he ac­tu­al­ly did that! And do you know what I have to do in re­turn? [Girls stare.] I have to give him a blowjob tonight!

–Sul­li­van’s Is­land, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Meghan

That was a Pla­ton­ic Blow Job

JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fuck­ing slut!
JAP #1: Did­n’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nev­er­mind… Just want­ed to know what you thought was slut­ty and what was­n’t.

–Bo­ca Beach Club, Bo­ca Ra­ton, Flori­da

Over­heard by: glad i picked the bo­ca ho­tel to stay at..

I Love a Girl Who Can Han­dle Her Balls

70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate can­cer back in the day, so I can lick ’em, but I can’t dick ’em.
Al­most le­gal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You’re very well-built for your age. (stares at girl’s breasts) You wan­na play pool with me?

–Palm Coast, Flori­da