Girl on cell: Suck a dick! Tell Vanessa to suck a dick too!
–Long Branch, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mr. Pacman and the Pacman Ghost
Archive for the ‘BJs’ Category
Aw, Don’t Get Sore at Her.
Guy: So I went to the party last night… and she gave me a BJ. Told you I was beast.
Friend: Well, she has herpes, so you should get tested.
Guy: That whore!
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Where Would Human Civilization Be Without That Phrase?
Mom to young child eating a Popsicle: Stop putting that in your mouth! It’s done, there’s nothing left.
Young woman nearby: That’s what he said.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Overheard by: Tara
…But I’m Not Sure What I’d Do for a Klondike Bar.
Bikini girl to friend: Yeah, I’d suck a dick for an iPod touch.
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Just Gazing Out into the Horizon of My Navel Hair…
Girlfriend: Some of my favorite times are lying on the beach with my head in your lap.
Boyfriend: Yeah, a lot of my favorite times involve your head in my crotch, too.
–The Point, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Greg P
Something I Probably Would Never Do in Front of You
Boyfriend to girlfriend’s underage sister: Want a beer? [Girlfriend and little sister stare at him.] What? It’s not like I asked her to blow me.
–Treasure Island Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sara
I Was Wondering If I Might Borrow One of Your Mouths?
Middle-aged man: Hi, girls. I was wondering if I could borrow one of your magazines. My wife is really bored and forgot her book. I’ll give you a drink in return.
Group of 20-ish girls: No problem. Here’s a People mag.
Middle-aged man: Thanks. See ya.
Middle-aged woman walks over laughing and whispers: Girls, my husband is so shy — I can’t believe he actually did that! And do you know what I have to do in return? [Girls stare.] I have to give him a blowjob tonight!
–Sullivan’s Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Meghan
She’s…My Soulmate!
Drunk guy being dragged out of bar, yelling: But she promised she would suck my balls!
–Cold Keg, Melbourne, Florida
To Bring Up Incest Like That
12-year-old boy to boogie boarding pal: You just did a 360! That was so awesome! We should all give you blowjobs for that! Even your brother!
Friend: Dude, you are so gay.
–Monterey Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Rebecca Anna Smith
That was a Platonic Blow Job
JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fucking slut!
JAP #1: Didn’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nevermind… Just wanted to know what you thought was slutty and what wasn’t.
–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: glad i picked the boca hotel to stay at..
