Archive for the ‘Bimbettes’ Category

Dear Tony– More Vine­gar, Less Gar­lic — Love, Mar­sha

Ghet­to chick #1: Yo, girl, I can smell you from here.
Ghet­to chick #2: Girl, what you talkin’ ’bout? You bet­ter be talkin’ ’bout my lo­tion.
Ghet­to chick #1: No, girl! I’m talkin’ ’bout your pussy.
Ghet­to chick #2: You crazy, girl. Tony ate it out last night. Ain’t noth­in’ in there to smell!
Ghet­to chick #1: Maybe it’s just the nig­ga’s breath, then.

–Ocean City, Mary­land

Over­heard by: karen g.

Any­body Still Wor­ried about the Fo­cus on Dead White Eu­ro­peans in Schools?

Girl #1: We can go see the Ku­la botan­i­cal gar­dens.
Girl #2: Where on the is­land is it?
Girl #1, read­ing guide­book sec­tion: It’s in flo­ra and fau­na — I don’t know where that is.
Girl #2: Um… Flo­ra and fau­na means plants and an­i­mals, it is­n’t a place on the map.
Girl #1: Well, I don’t speak Hawai­ian so how was I sup­posed to know?

–Ki­hei, Maui, Hawaii

Over­heard by: is­peakhawai­ian

… I Got Bet­ter

Beach bun­ny #1: I to­tal­ly slept with Bran­don last night.
Beach bun­ny #2: How was it?
Beach bun­ny #1: Awe­some. He was so fuck­ing huge he, like, broke my vagi­na.
Beach bun­ny #2: Damn. That’s say­ing a lot.
Beach bun­ny #1, hap­pi­ly: I know! I’m a to­tal whore!

–Del Mar Beach, San Diego, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Bran­don stole my girl­friend