Archive for the ‘Baristas’ Category

Every­body Talks About So­cial Dar­win­ism, but On­ly the Span­ish Do It

Amer­i­can law stu­dent girl: So, you know, in Spain, why is there a beep­ing sound when the traf­fic sig­nals change?
Eng­lish bar­man: That’s so that blind peo­ple know when the traf­fic has stopped.
Amer­i­can law stu­dent girl: Oh my god! You let blind peo­ple dri­ve?

–Mar­bel­la, Spain

Over­heard by: the fu­ture of jus­tice…

Let Him Ride (the Waves) on Me?

Un­der­age girl: Oh, my God. Look at that guy. He’s so fuck­ing hot.
Bar­tender, sar­cas­ti­cal­ly: Oooh, nice. Maybe if you show him your boobs, he’ll buy you a drink?
Un­der­age girl: You think so?
Mom: No way. You’re as flat as a surf­board. If you want that guy to buy you a drink, you’d have to do a lot more than show him your boobs.

–The Seafood Bar, The Break­ers, Palm Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: The JAP

In­tro­duc­ing, the Most Cere­bral Blonde at Man­asquan

Snack bar work­er: Do you ladies need any­thing for your iced cof­fees?
Brunette 40-some­thing: I hate to be a pain, but do you have any skimmed milk?
Snack bar work­er (re­turn­ing): I’m sor­ry ma’m, we ran out of skimmed milk but I did find some fat-free milk!
Brunette 40-some­thing: Oh, thank you so much. (turns to blonde friend) She was so sweet, I did­n’t have the heart to tell her it’s the same shit.
Blonde 40-some­thing friend: It is?

–Man­asquan Beach, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: Beach Bum