Mother: We're all set for the picnic!
Random gay dude: Oh, really? Yum! What'd you get us?
Mother: Uh, roast pork sandwiches.
Random gay dude: Ooooh, sounds good! (wanders off)
Mother (whispers): You have to be careful what you say around here.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: pop pop
Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!
–Enseada Beach, Brazil
Overheard by: Natasha
Gay boy 1: No! I will not tell people you have herpes when you don't!
Gay boy 2: Fine, whatever! Only a real friend would, anyway!
–Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: Michael
Queer #1, holding apple core: Is this biodegradable?
Queer #2, driving: Yes!
Queer #1: Okay! (tosses it out the window)
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Queer: So, like, let me get this straight. God got this lady pregnant and made her have a baby and then killed it so you could get away with whatever shit you wanted as long as you felt sorry?
Christian guy: Wow… I’ve never heard it put that way…
Queer: Sorry, I meant he killed him, it was a boy.
–Santa Cruz, California
Large gay man on bike, calling back to others: Come on, guys! We're going to miss the Origami!
–Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mj
Queer: Josh! If you don’t put your ass away right now, I’m gonna fuck it!
–Fire Island Pines, Brookhaven, New York
Overheard by: Your Buddy in Blue
Gay man to another: You are to florist shops as others are to tattoo parlors.
–St. Michaels, Maryland
Overheard by: I am to shoe stores
Girl, handing beach towel to gay guy: Here. This one's for you cuz it's got fruit on it.
Gay guy: Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the one with a bitch on it for you?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
White trash girl to friend: Whatever, I'm on my period, so I'm not even worried about it.
Gay male friend: You can still get pregnant on your period, I think.
(awkward silence)
White trash girl, laughing: You are such a fucking retard.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ryan L