White trash girl to friend: Whatever, I'm on my period, so I'm not even worried about it.
Gay male friend: You can still get pregnant on your period, I think.
(awkward silence)
White trash girl, laughing: You are such a fucking retard.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ryan L
Gay guy #1: Tom has such a huge dick! I swear I was walking bow-legged for three days! I think it might become a serious thing!
Gay guy #2: I know! He has such a huge dick!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That's why I love South Beach. It's gay, gay, gay!
–Lincoln Road, Florida
Overheard by: David
Queer: … And when he finished on my ass he said, ‘Hold on,’ and took a step backward and did a back flip!
–St. Augustine Beach, Florida
Queer #1: Oh my god, I used to eat Little Debbies all the time! I would have a Little Debbie and a Coke for breakfast every day.
Queer #2, intensely: I fucking loved Little Debbies.
–Publix, South Beach, Miami, Florida
Mother: We're all set for the picnic!
Random gay dude: Oh, really? Yum! What'd you get us?
Mother: Uh, roast pork sandwiches.
Random gay dude: Ooooh, sounds good! (wanders off)
Mother (whispers): You have to be careful what you say around here.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: pop pop
Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!
–Enseada Beach, Brazil
Overheard by: Natasha
Gay boy 1: No! I will not tell people you have herpes when you don't!
Gay boy 2: Fine, whatever! Only a real friend would, anyway!
–Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: Michael
Queer #1, holding apple core: Is this biodegradable?
Queer #2, driving: Yes!
Queer #1: Okay! (tosses it out the window)
–Sandy Hook, New Jersey
Queer: So, like, let me get this straight. God got this lady pregnant and made her have a baby and then killed it so you could get away with whatever shit you wanted as long as you felt sorry?
Christian guy: Wow… I’ve never heard it put that way…
Queer: Sorry, I meant he killed him, it was a boy.
–Santa Cruz, California