Queer: Josh! If you don’t put your ass away right now, I’m gonna fuck it!
–Fire Island Pines, Brookhaven, New York
Overheard by: Your Buddy in Blue
Archive for the ‘Awww, Gay’ Category
…Though I Guess the Cow Also Works.
Girl, handing beach towel to gay guy: Here. This one’s for you cuz it’s got fruit on it.
Gay guy: Oh, I’m sorry. Where’s the one with a bitch on it for you?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: aoK
But You Got All Pissy When I Told Them You Had Crabs!
Gay boy 1: No! I will not tell people you have herpes when you don’t!
Gay boy 2: Fine, whatever! Only a real friend would, anyway!
–Boca Raton, Florida
Overheard by: Michael
When You Call Your Boyfriend That, We Feel You’re Just Bragging
Large gay man on bike, calling back to others: Come on, guys! We’re going to miss the Origami!
–Provincetown, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mj
Tattoos Are So Hard to Arrange
Gay man to another: You are to florist shops as others are to tattoo parlors.
–St. Michaels, Maryland
Overheard by: I am to shoe stores
Looks Like a Stand-off
Crazy bag lady: I’m Ozzy’s mommy!
Queer: No, you’re not! You’re a fucking gross woman who carries around used clothes and a knapsack full of tissues! Plus, Ozzy sucks!
Crazy bag lady: Fag!
–St. Petersburg, Florida
What Could Be Safer Than Anal?
White trash girl to friend: Whatever, I’m on my period, so I’m not even worried about it.
Gay male friend: You can still get pregnant on your period, I think.
(awkward silence)
White trash girl, laughing: You are such a fucking retard.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ryan L
He Only Put It in My Mouth, But My Ass Was Still Sore
Gay guy #1: Tom has such a huge dick! I swear I was walking bow-legged for three days! I think it might become a serious thing!
Gay guy #2: I know! He has such a huge dick!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
If Gay People Disappeared, Straight People Would Miss Them
Drunk hobo to group of gay guys: That’s why I love South Beach. It’s gay, gay, gay!
–Lincoln Road, Florida
Overheard by: David
Thank Goodness Our Parachute Opened
Queer: … And when he finished on my ass he said, ‘Hold on,’ and took a step backward and did a back flip!
–St. Augustine Beach, Florida
