Skinny, half naked black guy wearing purple booty shorts: “do you guys do drugs?“
College kids: “no…“
Black guy: “oh I do…I’m a drug addict. Yeah, I just came from a rave, there are some crazy people out there! Why are y’all sitting here in the middle of venice beach? It gets dangerous here at night!“
College kid (holding an orange): “well, I’m strapped, so…“
Black guy: “is that an orange? Can I have it?” (takes orange and walks away).
–Venice Beach
Overheard by: Keidi
Guy to friend: If they’re not Tara Reid, I don’t want to see their tits.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Tall guy to sweaty friend: Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but you are wrong.
–Rosarito, Mexico
Overheard by: KJ
Guy (sarcastically): You’re like the smartest person I know. You’re practically einstein.
Girl: I… Don’t really get sex jokes.
–Bethany Beach
Overheard by: upgrade
White trash 7 year old, chasing seagulls: Varmits! Get away, you varmits!
Man: Does she mean varmints?
Woman: She’s from Indiana. That 10 year old next to her who is throwing the shovel at the seagulls is probably her mother.
–Indiana Dunes National Park
20-something guy: If someone offered you a thousand dollars to let them break your leg, would you say yes? I would. I’d say “hell yeah, break that shit in half!”
–Siesta Key, Florida
Girl #1, approaching girl #2: Um, you should work on your self-esteem more.
Girl #2: What? Who are you?
Girl #1: Take your shorts off. You’re gonna get an ugly tan line.
Girl #2: I’m okay with that, thank you.
Girl #1: What do you care if you are fat? Love yourself!
Girl #2: Fuck off! Who asked your opinion? Who are you?
Girl #1: Hey, can I bum a cigarette?
–Topanga State Beach, Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Freaked Out By CA Chicks
Amateur oncologist: Having a baby? That’s like growing a tumor with a brain inside of you.
–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts
Overheard by: concerned citizens
Dude stopping intense make-out: Um, you’re not gonna tell anyone about this…
Chick: What?!
Dude: Well, I mean, look at you…
Chick: I’m going to tell your mom about this.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Mik
Saggy-drawered kid: That woman carrying shit on her head.
Mother: Boy, you ain’t in Brooklyn anymore. This place different. And keep your voice down.
Saggy-drawered kid: Hell, she don’t speak English. And what the hell computer boy gonna do, report me to the internet?
–Tela Beach, Honduras
Overheard by: Computer boy, I assume
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
