Chubby man, kicking around the sand: Hey, have you guys seen a set of keys over here?
Asian girl: Um. No. Sorry.
Chubby man: Shit. I must have buried the car keys in the sand on accident. My wife’s gonna kill me.
Asian girl: I haven’t seen any keys, unfortunately.
Chubby man: Hey, do you think the beach has a Lost and Found box anywhere?
–Big Beach, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Responsible Tourist
White guy to Asian girl made up like Thai hooker: Hey, are you waiting for me?
–Santa Monica Pier, California
Overheard by: Ann
Japanese tourist #1 with wet suit on backwards: Hello!
Local surfer: You speak English?
Japanese tourist #2: Yes, yes!
Local surfer: Good. Get the fuck out of here!
–The Hook, Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Chrissy
Trendy Asian chick: I’ve seen a lot of transvestites in my day, but only one with a beard.
Old, well-dressed Mexican man: He must have forgotten to shave.
–Newport Beach, California
11-year-old Korean boy to 11-year-old Egyptian boy: You live in pyramid and you mummy!
–Christchurch, New Zealand
Overheard by: novalis
Girl #1: There are a lot of boobs here.
Girl #2: Yeah, but they are all 60 years old, fat, and saggy.
–Valencia, Spain
Overheard by: Rolo
Skinny, half naked black guy wearing purple booty shorts: “do you guys do drugs?“
College kids: “no…“
Black guy: “oh I do…I’m a drug addict. Yeah, I just came from a rave, there are some crazy people out there! Why are y’all sitting here in the middle of venice beach? It gets dangerous here at night!“
College kid (holding an orange): “well, I’m strapped, so…“
Black guy: “is that an orange? Can I have it?” (takes orange and walks away).
–Venice Beach
Overheard by: Keidi
Man on cell: Oh my god, she did that, and I thought getting sand in my crack was bad…
–Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
Asian guy: We should get some fish and chips.
Asian girl: Ooh, I love tartar sauce. It’s my favorite continent.
Asian guy: What?
–Steveston Pier, Richmond, British Columbia
Dude: Yo, that guy’s Asian as hell!
–Nag’s Head, North Carolina
Overheard by: alxie
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
