Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category

They’re Like Susan Sarandon That Way

Girl: I used to have a Shih-Tzu. Cutest dog ever.
Boy: Yeah, my friend has one, and this Doberman mutt thing. It’s weird, ’cause they were playing with each other and its eyeball fell out.
Girl: What?!
Boy: Yeah. They took it to the vet and he was like, ‘Oh, yeah, that happens a lot.’

–Lake Conroe, Texas

…Have Some Fucking Family Fun!

Attractive dad in front of giant sting ray swim tank: There will always be times in your life where you will have fear, but when you do it anyway, it makes it easier the next time. Okay, buddy?
Skinny eight-year-old with snot dripping down his nose: (nods)
Attractive dad: Okay, let’s go.

–Discovery Cove, Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: I was scared

Or Swedish?

Drunk woman to woman coming out of water with snorkeling mask: Oh, I was thinking about getting one of those! Is it worth the money?
Woman in mask: Absolutely! There’s tons of sea urchins, coral, plants, fish…
Drunk woman: Tropical?

–Atlantis Resort Cove Beach, Bahamas

Overheard by: Maggie