Archive for the ‘Animals’ Category

And There’s No Roof!

Amazed beachgoer, splashing in the waves: Holy shit! There are fish in the ocean!

–Seaside Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: Tess

Just Look at New Orleans

Mom: Don’t hurt that butterfly!
Son: Why?
Mom: Because if you’re mean to nature, nature will be mean to you.
Son: Oh.

–Markin Glen County Park, Kalamazoo, Michigan

Overheard by: julie

Pfff! I Saw That Show — It’s All ‘You Know What the Difference Between Aquatic and Land Mammals Is?’

Tourist lady: Do you know when the dolphin show is?
Lifeguard: Uh, yeah, I think the truck just came with all the dolphins in it… should be in about half an hour.
Tourist lady: Oh, great! Thank you.

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: Laughing Local

Winter In Maine Is …Less Than Exciting

Suburban tourist #1: Remember that time when I threw the cat out in the snow and that guy was staring at me?
Suburban tourist #2: And then John got christened by the cat.
Suburban tourist #1: Yeah, I don’t think that cat had peed in six months. It was like a fire hose.
Wife: That John and his temper…

–All Day Breakfast, Kennebunkport, Maine

Overheard by: Amused Locals

You Can’t Take Clint Eastwood Anywhere.

Surfer dude to flabby, uninterested friend: Are you seeing this? That seagull is frickin’ staring me down. Look at him. Are you looking at him? He’s giving me the eye. That motherfucker is going to shit on me at some point today, and he wants me to know it.

–Ocean Beach, California

…And a Much Better Pickpocket.

Tall skinny blonde with small Yorkie in her lap: I think she’s become a better person since I’ve been friends with her.

–LaJolla, California

Oh, That’s Just Drowning Girls. Now Get In!

Girl #1: Come on, get in the water.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s nice.
Girl #3: No way! There are sharks!
Girl #1: There aren’t any sharks.
Girl #3: Oh yeah? Then why are there so many bubbles?

–Robert Moses Beach, New York