Lifeguard to wading mother: That girl is too small. She can’t be out that far. She has to be within arm’s length.
Mother: How far is arm’s length?
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: hefferlump
Archive for the ‘Age and ageing’ Category
Your Grandfather and I Turned Out Okay
Grandmother: So you’re not in a fight anymore?
Little boy, hugging little girl: We’re gettting married!
Grandmother: But you’re cousins.
Little boy: No, I mean when we’re older.
Grandmother: But you’ll still be…Never mind.
–Ortley Beach, New Jersey
Snoop Dogg Is Taking That Under Advisement
Teenage surfer to dad: You’re too old to get high!
–La Jolla, California
That Was on Tuesday, Britney
Trendy overdressed girl: Oh my god, did you see all those teenagers lurking outside? They think they’re so fucking cool! God!
Trendy overdressed guy: I know.
Trendy overdressed girl: It’s like, ever since we turned 20, I can’t believe we ever hung out with people like that.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: 22-year-old who’s glad she never hung out with either of them
The Easiest He’s Ever Been Let Down
French girl to flirty teenage boy: You are very cute, yes, but I am 23.
Teenage boy: Really?
French girl: Yes.
Teenage boy: Dammit.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Her American Cousin
I Love a Girl Who Can Handle Her Balls
70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick ’em, but I can’t dick ’em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You’re very well-built for your age. (stares at girl’s breasts) You wanna play pool with me?
–Palm Coast, Florida
Plus, 13 Is an Unlucky Number
Creepster: Her dad says I’m too old to be hitting on a 13-year-old girl, so I do the math. But if you let them get their belly button pierced, they are going to get attention.
–St. Simon’s Island, Georgia
Overheard by: Dragoman
And I’d Miss That If I Were in Jail
Dude #1: All I’m saying is, at some point she’ll be 23 and damn sexy.
Dude #2: You have a good point.
–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York
Overheard by: sas
Too Soon, Mom
Three-year-old girl, swaying her hips: Mommy, do I look like a teenager?
–Fire Island, New York
It Would Have Had the Same Effect on My Cock
Chick: I don’t know why you wanted to come to a nudist beach… It’s all old, gay, wrinkled men here. They’re all staring at me and the water is so cold — you look teeny.
Dude: I know, I should have just had you walk around naked at home.
–Gunnison Beach, Sandy Hook, New Jersey
