Archive for the ‘Age and ageing’ Category

I Love a Girl Who Can Han­dle Her Balls

70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate can­cer back in the day, so I can lick ’em, but I can’t dick ’em.
Al­most le­gal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You’re very well-built for your age. (stares at girl’s breasts) You wan­na play pool with me?

–Palm Coast, Flori­da

To Be Fair, What Amer­i­can Would?

Woman, putting lo­tion on man’s back: How long have your par­ents been mar­ried?
Man: A long time: 25 or 30 years…
Woman: So your par­ents got mar­ried af­ter you were born?
Man: No.
Woman: But you’re 40! Okay, now you’re scar­ing me. I just spilled half the bot­tle of lo­tion on your back. That would be 3.5 ounces. I’d ex­plain it to you but you would­n’t un­der­stand.

–Fort De So­to Beach, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Ishk­abib­ble