Archive for the ‘Advice’ Category

It’s Nev­er Too Ear­ly for In­ter­net Porn

Lit­tle boy: Hey! What’s your name?

Lit­tle girl walk­ing along shore does­n’t look at him.

Lit­tle boy: Hey! What’s your name?!

Lit­tle girl looks at boy but con­tin­ues walk­ing.

Lit­tle boy: What’s your name?! What’s your naaaaame?!
Moth­er of girl: It’s Jade.

Moth­er whis­pers to girl and points in boy’s di­rec­tion, but girl con­tin­ues walk­ing in oth­er di­rec­tion.

Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can on­ly ex­pect more of that as you get old­er.

–Po­mano Beach, Flori­da

He Finds You

Kid #1: Ma­ma, have you seen the bad guy?
Mom: Not to­day.
Kid #1: Is he here?
Mom: I don’t think so, no.
Kid #2: Where is he?
Mom: Well, if you don’t look for him, you’re not gonna find him!

–Mal­ibu, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Jes­si­ca B.

If Not As Much As Your Daugh­ter.

Woman #1: How are you, Sam? I haven’t seen you for­ev­er.
Woman #2: We need to catch up more of­ten. How are you?
Woman #1: Don’t even ask. On­ly a cou­ple of weeks ago I re­al­ized I had crabs, and just yes­ter­day I found out my daugh­ter has her­pes. (sighs)
Woman #2: The ap­ple does­n’t fall far from the tree. At least you’re get­ting some ac­tion.

–Mel­bourne, Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Maris­sa