Na­tive man: This is where Hawai­ians come to cel­e­brate a child’s first birth­day with a lu­au. All the fam­i­ly comes to have a three-day par­ty by the ocean.
Tourist: How did that get start­ed?
Na­tive man: To pro­tect the ba­bies from the mis­sion­ar­ies who loved to eat plump Hawai­ian ba­bies.
Tourist, shocked: That was­n’t in my tour book.
Na­tive man: It’s some­thing we keep qui­et to pro­tect the white mis­sion­ar­ies.

–Ko­ha­la, Hawaii

Over­heard by: BLondie