Life­guard, re­plac­ing new in-ser­vice flags: We should have flags with skull and cross­bones on them. That way, when some­one comes and asks what the flag is for we can say, “oh there’s a 50% chance of a pi­rate at­tack, you prob­a­bly want to leave the beach.”

–Huguenot Beach, Jack­sonville, Flori­da