Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that’s skim­board­ing?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don’t you just wan­na run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tan­ning oil, star­ing at them: That’s my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been go­ing out?
Girl: Four months. What’s it to you?
Woman #1: Just weigh­ing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleep­ing with him.
(girl makes dis­gust­ed noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don’ t wor­ry, Shar. She’s hideous. We’ll fol­low them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or some­thing, we’ll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We al­ways do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each oth­er, say­ing noth­ing) I’ve got a big­ger rack.

–Pis­mo Beach, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Matil­da