Trendy overdressed girl: Oh my god, did you see all those teenagers lurking outside? They think they’re so fucking cool! God!
Trendy overdressed guy: I know.
Trendy overdressed girl: It’s like, ever since we turned 20, I can’t believe we ever hung out with people like that.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: 22-year-old who’s glad she never hung out with either of them
Angry father, trying to climb into boat with son: Turn off the fucking engine, man! I’ve got a fucking five-year-old here! Jesus, use your fucking head!
–The Hamptons, New York
Dude #1: All I’m saying is, at some point she’ll be 23 and damn sexy.
Dude #2: You have a good point.
–Cupsogue Beach, Westhampton, New York
Overheard by: sas
Three-year-old girl, swaying her hips: Mommy, do I look like a teenager?
–Fire Island, New York
Boy #1: Are you gonna use your real age or your fake age?
Boy #2: I’m gonna say I’m 20.
Boy #1: Fuck that! I’m saying 17.
Boy #3: I’m so wasted I can hardly ride my bike.
–Foster Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Beach Comber
Little boy, wearing a towel as a cape: I’m six! And six-year-old boys are full of poison! I’m gonna bite you! Rawrrr!
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lisita
Teen boy: Yo, you’re hot. How old are you?
Girl: Eleven. But I’m turning twelve in three days.
Teen boy: … Bye.
–Emerald Isle, North Carolina
Mother with accent, talking to grown son: David, blow up the raft!
David: No! Make dad do it!
Dad: You’re younger. You have more air in your lungs.
Sister: Dave, just blow up the raft.
David: No!
Mother: Son, shut up and finish the blow job.
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: anna
Little boy: Why is that woman walking faster than us?
Grandfather (frustrated): I have no explanation for this!
–Sauble Beach, Canadia
Overheard by: Totally walking faster than them
Beach lady #1: Oh girls, last night I was watching 16 and Pregnant.
Beach lady #2: My daughter watches that. Well, I think it is stupid! That would suck for those girls.
Beach lady #1: How stupid are these kids these days? That’s why my daughter uses safe sex.
Beach lady #2: Wait, weren’t you pregnant at 16?
–Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina
Overheard by: Emily
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
